Book Club Faux Pas

by Shelley
(Iowa)

Help! I need some speedy book club etiquette advice from the experts!

I started a book club with 3 other girls following your rules from the book club guide section. As time passed we have each added our one new member so that our club equals 8 total now. The 8 of us have found a good rhythm to our discussions both social and book related.

At April's meeting, about a week ago, one of our add on members showed up with someone she works with! She didn't discuss it with the rest of us and it was obvious that the girl whom she brought knew nothing about the "rules" we have about adding members. This new person was pleasant and actually added good depth to our discussion but this would mean that our book club has more than doubled in size. Plus, if we allow her to stay then the other 3 add on members might think that they can each add a friend which would create total chaos!

What should I do? I'm the unofficial leader as I founded the club so the rest of them are waiting for my action but I don't want to be the bad guy. Should I let the girl stay in and explain the rules to all or should I "uninvite" her?

Answer

Hi Shelley,
Wow! This is NOT an easy answer or quick fix. I completely understand your desire to adhere to the rules and, at the same time, not be viewed as the "bad guy" or dictator of the group.

So what should you do? My firm opinion is that you let this new girl stay in the club. Sounds like she brings new ideas to the discussion and that is always a good thing.

However, you are going to have to go over the "book club guidelines" with the club so that this doesn't happen again unless the whole group agrees. Here's a thought - give them the link to our book club guide page via an email before your next meeting. Then at the meeting go over the guidelines as a group. Tell all the members that the point of doing this is to be sure that you stay on track as a book club and not just a social group. Talk openly and honestly. Since you're all friends it should end up just fine.

Hope this helps! Come back and let us know what happens!

Queenie D